4 Steps to self love

We could all use a little more self love amiright? In this post I am going to share everything I did on my journey to self love.

1. Get Other People Out of Your Head

This is a huge hurdle. We aren’t born self conscious. We don’t come into this world with negative thoughts in our heads. We learn them. Whether it’s as a child, in middle school/high school, at home, at church, etc. Other people’s ideas, opinions, judgements frame how we see not only the world around us, but most importantly how we see ourselves. So when we are starting a journey to self love, it is important to get other people out of it! How I did this was identifying the “speaker” of the thoughts I was having. When you tell yourself something like, “this outfit isn’t meant for people like me” or “I am so lazy for watching that whole series yesterday” – stop and think where you have heard those things before? Who in your life talks like that? Or talked like that around you growing up? Where did you get the idea outfits are only meant for certain people or that watching tv all day makes you lazy? Name them. In your head, identify the source. This may sound silly, but identifying the source detaches that thought from ourselves. AND THAT IS HUGE! When a thought becomes someone else’s and not OURS we can release it that much easier. I did this by pausing when a thought came, and in my head identifying it and calling it out! This thought pattern may look like, “I can’t wear something sleeveless, my arms are too big for that” *pausing – identifying* “I hear you _____ (insert persons name : mom, sister, cousin, friend, aunt, etc) but I don’t claim that” and moving on with your day!

02. Put Your Thing Down, Flip It and Reverse It!

Once you are able to get ahold of your thoughts and identify them, a different feeling will come in. This is a new space! You have called out your thoughts and sent them back to sender as it were. What I did next was take any negative self talk “I look fat in that photo” “I hate my hair” and put it down, flip it and reverse it! I instantly, and I mean INSTANTLY, the SECOND something came into my head, I stopped it mid-sentence and made it something I liked about myself. This can be ANYTHING, don’t make it harder than it is! “I look fat in that photo” turns into “I love that skirt so much” eventually becomes “I felt so GREAT in that outfit, I loved that feeling!” “I hate my hair” turns into “I have great boobs” eventually becomes “I love my body for all that it does for me” “my body is amazing”. Does this happen overnight? No. BUT it is so worth the work my friend! I promise you work on yourself is never ever time wasted.

03. Wear the Skirt. Take the Photo. Do the Thing

The next thing I did, and this is just as important as working on your mind, was I just did the damn thing! I wore the shirt, I took the photo AND I posted it! I put myself out there. I wore the swimsuit, even in public spaces! And you know what happened? NO. ONE. CARED!!! In fact, I ended up growing such a sweet community on Instagram. I inspired other people to wear the swimsuit! The greatest benefit of all! Now I’m not saying you need to take pics and post them, everyone’s journey is going to look different! Maybe for you it’s taking a trip alone, crossing something off your bucket list, starting a class, starting a youtube channel, it literally could be anything. Please dear friend, DO IT! You only have this one short life and YOU ARE WORTH IT! You deserve to do the things you want to do!!!

04. Find Community

Perhaps the biggest impact on my self love journey was finding the body positive community on Instagram. When I changed my list of who I was following to be filled with normal, plus size, HAPPY women, my life changed. Seeing women wearing what they wanted to wear, and dressing CUTE, it’s sad how much that blew my mind honestly. Seeing plus size women being in love, going on dates, going out with friends, at the pool, living their best lives, what a difference that made for me. I learned one of the most important life lessons of all which is that our bodies are the LEAST interesting thing about us! There is a community out there for everyone. I promise you. Instagram not your thing? Find a Facebook group? Want more anonymity? Find a sub reddit. Your people are out there and community IS HUGE!!!

I hope this list helps you! Let me know how you’re doing in a comment below or follow along with me on IG!