I Still Use the Enneagram
I’m sure by now, we all have at least heard of the enneagram. I wanted to dedicate a whole post to it because learning about it changed my life! When I first read the description to an enneagram 4’s person – I felt like I was given language to describe feelings I had never been able to before! That’s how discovering your enneagram can feel – like being truly seen.
If you don’t know about the enneagram, let me loosely describe it for you because there are people far better than me to do so, (like Sarajane Case). First I would recommend visiting the enneagram institute’s website or the nine types website. I visited both when starting my enneagram exploration! Essentially the enneagram breaks people up into 9 different types (1-9). You can take a short 30 something question test on the nine types website. However, a lot of enneagram teachers + coaches will suggest you read through the descriptions of all 9 types as well to see which one sounds the most like you. Sometimes people can find themselves stuck between two types. Once you know your number, you can start exploring your “wings” which are the two numbers around your number, ( I am a 4 so I have a 3 wing and a 5 wing). You can really get down to the nitty gritty with this! I recommend using the nine types to take a test and then going to the enneagram institute for allllll the exploration/information – including how your type is in relationship with other numbers!
Once you become familiar with each of the types and how they are hard wired, you can use that information to better relationships with those around you. Let me briefly describe each type real quick!
1- Rule Follower/Perfectionist
2- The Helper (others first always)/People Pleasing
3-Motivated/Success Driven/Achiever
4-The Romantic/Artist/Individualist
5-Thinker/Logic/Isolated
6-Loyal/Question Everything – Our most anxious friends <3
7-FUN/Enthusiast/Spontaneous
8-Challenger/Confrontational/Strong
9-Peacemaker/Easy Going
I can’t speak to the ins and outs of each type so I will stick to my own as the example, I am a 4 with a pretty strong 3 wing. As a 4, I am not just a romantic in my relationship, but I romanticize absolutely every thing I can. Growing up this looked like staring out the window on long road trips and imaging a whole movie of my life in my mind. Now it may look like driving through the country with the windows down and singing my favorite Taylor Swift songs as if nothing else in life matters but that very moment. I am independent to a fault, and I crave alone time. I hate small talk and will get REAL DEEP with people REAL FAST – not everyone loves that! hah! I want to have deep conversations, I want to know your trauma, I want to talk about the hard stuff. I don’t care for the fluff. Authenticity is so important to me. I can spot someone who is faking it a mile away and it is honestly the biggest turn off.
The enneagram descriptions aren’t just the sunshine and roses of your persona. Your number is going to look you in the face and tell you everything that is wrong with you. This can be hard to take in, but try to look at as actually being helpful. When you know the areas that need work, it makes it easier to work on them. As a 4, I crave individualism, to a fault. I don’t want to be like other people, but also I am always searching for my identity in people/things I respect and admire. 4’s can struggle with low self-esteem and I think we all know that is hard. 4’s can also be self absorbed – whoops.
Having the same number as someone else doesn’t mean you are exactly the same. In fact being a 4 (or any number) can look different on different people. Some famous enneagram 4’s include Billie Eilish, Wynona Ryder, Stevie Nicks, Kurt Cobain and Bob Dylan. All similar people, but each very individualistic.
Do you know your enneagram type? What number are you? What has been your experience with the enneagram? Or are you brand new to it? I want to know all the things! Let me know below!